I believe in God. There I said it, are you "name taggers" happy? All of you Christians who has remonstrated me and forcing me to an abject position because I adopt the Taoist moniker? If Christian is a person who follows Christ and God and believes in the bible then a Christian is what I am known as to you.
If you call me a Christian, Theist, Evangelical, Protestant, a Greek Orthodox, a Roman Catholic, a Catholic, a Lutheran, or even a Jew or Muslim, I will detest such labels. I like to call myself a Daoist follower of Christ. I don't really liked to be tagged as a "Christian" or any of these weird labels and this is because I know that nobody can be a PURE CHRISTIAN.
When asked the God question, like "Do you believe in God," I reply with a simple "Yes, there is a God." I give this response, because we can follow God, but in honesty to be a Christian and many people fall for their own silliness and say "Me too. I'm a Christian." I reluctantly stare at them with a really confused face. And although these people say "I'm a Christian" I look at them skeptically and say "Prove God exists other than the bible." At that point they slack themselves off and lazily kick the dust on the floor and continue their lives. There is no defense.
It shows weakness in your spirit. If you really are a Christian, wake up, and stop trying to be weak. Weakness to God shows you have no spirit. Stop with your crap and quit the religion if it's so difficult, or live the life of lies that you hold forever. If you truly are curious and want to be one, keep an open mind. Touch the fudgin' book the Bible. If you want to debate me, I'm always free to question about God, debate, chat about.
This is exactly why this life matters. I know that we are all bound to die in one way or another and this is the most important thing to do, we either teach lies on how people should live, a life without God and live to a non existent God figure that STILL ironically get's contradicted by itself because to set an absolute truth, you need to know an absolute truth. But anyways, it's important, because death could creep around the corner store (See Trayvon Martin). When I was an atheist, I saw the world evil and I saw everything wrong. I persuaded myself that there were retards around me in this world that doesn't see my world. I wanted to kill myself. In sophomore year I literally stood at the rooftop and stood at the edge wondering about death and wanting to die more and more.
Somewhere along those lines, I read the bible and wondered about myself and wondered who I was. Regardless I still yearn bits of death to this day and yet now I keep that will and I see everybody more stupider and more abuse-able than ever because we think we know things. If we truly know things, then why bother trying to study? To know more? Bu you know things, won't that make you a God? It would be quite a delusion to say there is no absolutes except this absolute. If there is no God, and I'm not defending with God of the Gaps, I'm defending THE creator here. It's like Albert Einstein. If I said Albert Einstein didn't exist, you all see me as crazy. But I can defend it. Because I can disprove relativity and all his great things by saying. Who created Einstein's ideas? See what I'm saying here?
Just thinking about mathematics now that I've decided to study vector calculus and differential equations and even physics by myself made me realize that there needs to be a God. It's like the blueprint of a building. There needs to be a designer. It made sense for me. Yet most of you won't read this and understand me. My life is focused on an ever changing theory and maybe set theory of numbers by my favorite people in this entire universe: Leibniz and Newton.
Personally, I think spiritualism in God and faith is very hard to keep. It's not a road that's easy for anybody especially a suicidal maniac like me. Yes I call myself a maniac. Even if people will still hurt me with harmful words in trying to kill my soul or harm my emotional side, I know God will protect me like he did to David when he was fighting Goliath. Perhaps also because I'm a mathematician, I get my spiritualism through God, and math is my actions. It's a little intense and yet even if I see it like that, it's my world that I see it in. It's a great world and regardless if people get it or not, I am still who I am. Bradley Reshiram Soo.
TLDR: Well there is no TLDR excuse! This so you can't have the TLDR thing. Read it, and maybe you might see who I truly am.
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